"one direction is the world’s biggest band". They keep progressing each year. No one can stop them. 4 years is like starting as a freshman and ending as a senior. One direction has graduated from their first step. Now they are going to start on their second step. And we will all be in the front row supporting them.
- me: hello darkness my old friend
- darkness: do i know u
- if you are a vegan
- tell me and i will never serve you meat and/or try to question you about it
- but if you ever
- tell me that im a killer
- or try to make me feel bad
- for eating meat
ok but consider this: you should feel bad.
ok but consider this: i WILL eat you
I need to marry someone hot so our children will have a 50/50 chance of being hot
My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%
NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.
It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.
An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.
So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.
My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.
I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..
What’s next pizza delivery hitmen
#they were there after Allison’s death#they saw what it did to her#constantly plucking strings and showing up at random places#just to hear her one more time#they can’t let it happen again#she was getting#not better#but okay#she was getting there#and now they’re back at square one#they’ve only known each other for a few scant months#but they would do anything#just to make her okay again (via actualhumanallisonargent)
If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made
sneaking into the kitchen at 3am like
i hope we have some got damn juicy juice boy shit i am thirsty as a mother fucker
when will my boyfriend return from tour